— Doris's Blog

Ethical and discretionary responsibilities of a business firm are listed in the order of priority. First, a firm has to satisfy its economic responsibilities, followed by fulfilling legal responsibilities in order to survive in the market. chat ave adult Only then, it can think about or focus on purely voluntary actions pertaining to ethical consideration. adult singles chat In this competitive market situation, a business unit has to concentrate on profit making, the primary motive behind any business activity. However; it is easier said than done. You cannot hit the bull’s eye at the very first attempt. A firm has to become economically stable first; only then, it integrates social commitments in its agenda.

Arguments for social responsibility.

Public image: Socially responsible firms gain more customers and employees feel proud to work for such organizations.

Handling the government regulations with ease: Government is a massive institution with long arms. It seeks to regulate business in public interest. Before government stretches its long arms, businesspersons should discharge their obligations to society.

Business is resourceful: With a pool of resources, such as capital, labor and expertise, business is in a better position to tackle social problems and work for social goals.

Let business try: It is that many other institutions have failed in handling social problems. So why should not a business enterprise handle social problems?

Prevention is better than cure: Social problems have to be handled by the management at some point of time or the other. Problems with labor unions should be handled in a diplomatic way, so that they will not develop into serious social breakdown that consumes most of the management’s time.

As a token of gratitude: Business units benefit from society. Based on the commonly accepted principle, that one owes debts of gratitude towards those who benefits us, the corporations have debts that it owes to society.

Arguments against social responsibility.

Profit maximization is the ultimate goal: Business units are accused of having profit maximization as their goal. Since business operates in a world of poverty and hunger, the economic efficiency of business is a matter of priority and should be the sole mission of business.

Society has to pay the cost: The costs of social responsibility will be passed on to the society and the question is can the society bear these additional costs?

Lack of social skills: Managers are here to solve economic problems and they do not possess knowledge or skills to provide the right solutions for social problems.

Business has enough power: Business already is wielded with enough social power. The society should not take any steps, which will make it stronger.

Social overhead costs: Costs on social responsibility is considered a social cost, which will not immediately benefit the business. Why spend money on an object, the benefits of which will be relished only in the future.

Lack of broad support: The idea of business involvement in achieving social goals is not widely supported by many groups in society.

Business and society are interlinked in many ways and the business has to handle the societal aspects with great care or else it may have to face the consequences arising out of such misappropriation or negligence.

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Divorce is probably the one life event guaranteed to bring out the worst in most people.

Of course you want your fair share, you’ve worked hard you deserve it – but isn’t your partner saying exactly the same thing? They also want their fair share and think they deserve it.

Life isn’t always fair. Divorce most certainly challenges your concept of what is fair, however, if you can work together to come to an agreement you will at least save a small fortune on legal fees.

Don’t lose sight of reality and get caught up in point scoring, sometimes you have to cut your losses and take the opportunity to get on with your life. Your relationship is over how much more of your life do you want to spend arguing with your ex.

Life after divorce can be good – I know, I’m living it.

Yes there were lonely days, there were sad days, angry days, frustrating days, but they were usually associated with looking back rather than forward.

Get up in the morning ready to accept the experiences the day has to offer, smile, the physical act of smiling changes your mood – it’s true, google it! Find someone to help, pay a compliment, make someone else feel good and you will soon feel good too.

Feeling lonely is often associated with focusing on yourself, are you going over and over past events, and you still looking for fault, are you still blaming? All of these things stop you from looking out and forward. Remember being alone is different from being lonely. Time alone is something that you need, it gives you time to relax, plan, enjoy music, paint, cook, sleep, meditate, you carry on and make your own list.

Being lonely happens to us all from time to time, the trick is to recognise it and deal with it. I find that getting busy or getting out is best. I go for a walk and I smile. If you walk where other people walk or where people walk dogs you can usually find someone to pass the time of day with. If you smile people will smile back. If your loneliness is deeper and you find yourself brooding on being lonely day after day and not able to get out to meet people you should have a chat with your health practitioner, you may be depressed.

Life isn’t fair, life after divorce may not be fair but it’s up to you to decide whether you will spend the rest of your life looking back and feeling lonely or will you take a risk and step out, taking every opportunity that life will surely offer you. Life may not be fair, but you can still enjoy it.

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THE FUNERALS

Ella has always wanted, for sure, one thing since she was a little girl. She wanted to buy a printing press. The problem was that she didn’t have enough money to do this. Ella set out to find a way to do this. Ella had thought she was going to get away for her maternal period for returning to work. Her mother had promised to help her with some money and she wanted to take care of the baby, in order to give her daughter the opportunity to work. She had already published her book. She had been working on it for several years, acquiring a high-powered agent, having some brushes with two major publishers.

She could have tried to go to a small publisher, but she was told that her book was a bigger one, with more aspirations. She also learned that the small publishers could be wiped out by the self-publishing revolution of recent years, which had a major impact on mainstream media. The basic premise was that anyone could become a small publisher. She decided to associate with Laura and Sam.Ella couldn’t really know what it meant to be a real publisher until she became a partner.She realized that she had to work hard for this purpose.

“I know that I must work hard for a very long time, in order to get to the point of making a lot of money from publishing books,”said Sam. He needed to learn about his job duty and other life skills, necessary for functioning within the press community.

“Laura, you are an experienced director and you can handle with a lot of money. You have a lot of experience in the publishing industry. It’s a great goal because the benefits can be unlimited,”said Ella.

Owning a publishing company can be the ultimate hands-on experience. Each project requires personal attention. Generally, people who own publishing companies are prepared to work long hours and to face significant start-up costs. If they can deal successfully with the pressures of payroll, regulations and problem solving, the rewards can be great.

“I will share up to thirty five percent with a serious project manager, who can handle the whole publishing development. There is much to be discussed and I expect only very professional persons to be involved,” said Laura.

“Do you need another manager?” Sam was making a ceaseless effort to understand the problems. The main reason Sam found himself in this situation was that he was not, in fact, prepared to deal with the business as he was going to find it.

“The affair is bigger now than before and the manager I have is not a very good one. In fact, I have thought of Michael.This is why I have invited him here,” said Laura.

Michael thought of what she said for a few seconds and, after that, he said,”Make it forty percent and I’m your man,”said Michael.

“I cannot give you forty percent on this project and I know you wouldn’t mind having just thirty percent, once this is up and running, but I give you thirty five percent and I am willing to discuss about a higher rate later when the level of sales will reach the target level of profit,” said Laura.

“I expect a very good knowledge from your co-workers and the ability to create a system. It is a hard work, but only big rewards are expected. I understand that I’m hired. If thirty five percent is all the manager gets and the manager does one hundred percent of the publishing development, the question I have is what do the other partners do to warrant getting sixty five percent? The ratio of work to gain money seems to be unbalanced, “said Michael.

“I am looking for an exceptional book designer to work for me and this will cost me a lot. I need a high quality for the books and this is very expensive. I’m asking you to accept this proposal for a while. Ella and Sam will take twenty percent together. What I need to say is that I want you all to be true partners. We will start a very profitable non-risky affair. As I said in the beginning, we have to work very hard because, without this, we can lose everything,”said Laura.

“I don’t know if a great book designer is the key to success,” said Michael.

“The clients want to place their manuscripts in the hands of someone they can trust. A good book designer knows how to make the book to be the best one. It’s a very creative process, associated with the production details, for making this book to be complete,” said Laura.

“We must develop the business plan,” concluded Sam, who was paying attention to everything.

Sam wanted to make money to become rich enough for being co-partner in an affair. For this purpose, he had to impose many restrictions on himself. He had been worth every penny of his salary. It was an unimaginable stress to work for ten years, having two jobs at the same time.There were plenty of ways to get money, including speculation, marriage, inheritance, theft, extortion, fraud, counterfeiting and prospecting, but Sam chose to invest his money in the stock market because it had already gained so much popularity. Because the stocks prices had been on the rise, he thought that he had found a safe way to invest. He believed that his stocks were his tickets to richness. He was right because those stock values didn’t stop rising. Sooner than he expected, the stock prices were very high, as a result of the mass investments. The stock prices continued to rise until they reached their highest points. This way, Sam became a rich man.

“It isn’t very complicated, but it has to be thorough,” said Ella.

“It is very important to know how the business must be developed,” said Laura.

“Without a few lines of credit and an alternative of start-up funding, no business can survive for long time. You have money, but not enough for your purpose.This is why you must get a loan, until the company gets established,” said Daniel.

“How can we get the loan?” Sam became curious.

“You must open a bank account, in the company’s name, for paying the bills.You must keep it separate from your investment, checking and savings accounts,” said Daniel.

“Laura, it’s wonderful to see you both together again,” said Ella.

“I love him very much,”said Laura.

Laura had not realized what Daniel wanted from her, until they divorced. Even she was separated from Daniel, she didn’t feel completely detached from him. She realized that it was much easier to think of their relationship, while they were living separately. She thought for a moment that living as a single would be better, but she concluded that, on the other side, the life can lose its sense. After this experience, Laura realized that Daniel was all she needed. She realized that she loves him and she cannot love another man. The divorce wasn’t very easy. It was a traumatic experience, but their problems seemed almost impossible to be solved without this separation. When Daniel decided to return, Laura tried to be honest with him because she wanted to start a new life. Daniel told her to be mature enough to realize that the main problems in their marriage were caused by her attitude and he asked her to be honest enough to admit that she generated the main conflicts. He told her that he had learned to forgive and forget because he understood that it was easier to forgive and forget the past and look towards a better future, than to live with unsolved problems. Her reconciliation with Daniel was a long and difficult process.

“Covering the equipment is the first priority.We need to invest in equipment liability and workman’s compensation,” said Laura.

“We need to be shielded against some claims, arising from miscalculation, made during our activity,” said Ella.

“We must carefully balance our estimations. We have to bend a little on pricing for a steady work flow,” said Laura.

“You must know everything about all the risks.You must know how to plan on addressing damage claims and client disputes. All these will go along with strengthening your position as a contractor,”said Daniel.

“Daniel, you’re so sweet when you want to help us. I suppose that no other person really knows that you are here talking with us,”said Ella laughing.

“We must employ new workers,”said Laura.

“How can we recruit them?” Sam was boring asking so many questions.

“We can publish announcements in our newspaper. We can choose online postings and fliers,” said Ella.

“The book design can turn the manuscript into a professional quality book,”said Laura.

“Ella, tell me about your money,”said Michael, tenderly looking into her eyes and smiling. “You’re more beautiful now than ever.”

“My mother gave me some money. She decided to help me to realize the dream of my life.”

“Generally, people judge a book by its cover. We will work to create the best book design for the audience. The authors are dependent upon our careful attention to detail in this customized book design.This kind of design needs some book printing skills. I will introduce you to the book design preparations, technical information and design decisions, required for a successful book printing. Even you are not designers, you must know everything about this,”concluded Laura.

Lisa’s heart was beating very fast and her head was spinning. Being so powerless, she suddenly felt sick to her stomach.

“What has happened to you?” Samantha asked her.

“Give me five minutes,”she told Samantha, suddenly feeling very weak. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

Being worried, Samantha nodded and went to get Lisa a glass of water. Lisa sat back in a chair, having her eyes closed and shaking her hands. She realized she was having an anxiety attack, probably because she attended the funeral. Moreover, going to those things, she felt brought on waves of panic and nausea.

“I still cannot realize that Jeff is dead,” she said.

After a few minutes, six lanky boys appeared at the funeral and three of them clambered down from the hearse. One of them had one of those thermometer style tire gauges with him and he was scrabbling around the hearse on his haunches, testing the tire pressures. After a few minutes, he said,”We have come to take the charge of the body. Tell two of you to lend a hand.”

“Of course,” said Samantha, “Klaus, be kind and ask David to come here.”

The coffin was got out of the room for being placed in the hearse. The people drew back enough to make space for it. No one said anything. The engine panted heavily. The lanky boys looked helpless at the driver. The driver turned to David because he was the only one, who could be addressed to ask him for help.

“The body will be directly taken to the church,” said David. He stooped and took hold of one of the handles of the coffin.

The liveryman opened the door of the hearse and prepared to mount the coffin’s seat. The hearse began slowly to move for some miles with Jeff’s daughter and his family’s cars following behind. It was pouring with rain, thundering and lightning. Then, a flash of lightning lit the hearse and a crack of thunder sounded like ten thousand drums, which were beaten by invisible hands. The liveryman took one look at Jeff and his coffin, which was gleaming in the bright light. His face’s color was turning into a white shade of pale. The lamps of the town began to shine and their artificial light reached the emptiness of the cloudy sky, wrapping everything in a very strange silence. The hearse backed up to the sidewalk of the church. The gate, which was hanging on two hinges, was opened. Something black had been tied to the front door, before their coming.

“There are old chairs made in the chapel by his family,” said Samantha.

“Lisa and Jane are going to serve everyone tea, coffee and food, after the funeral,” said Marie.

“His photograph in remembrance, embedded in the gravestone, is a good one,” said Mary.

“People like something to spark their memory and the photograph is exactly what they need,” said Samantha.

“I think that there has always been a need to say a special last goodbye,” said Roxanne.

“Lisa chose a very impressive casket,” said Dusty.

The rain stopped falling. The coffin was taken out from the hearse for being placed in the church. The casket was making a grating sound. It was answered by the scream of Jeff’s daughter, Jane. She was a woman with flat and angular features. She had a long blond hair, very blue eyes and she was entirely dressed in black. Whilst grieving for her father, Jane found herself not wanting any contact with the people around her, except for those to whom she was closest. The bearers carried the coffin along the narrow boards, while the undertaker ran ahead with the coffin rests. There was a logo, having some black and orange flowers. Some white funeral flowers were placed on the casket. They bore the coffin into the church and set it down there. It was a Catholic church, with cream-colored walls and a dark brown carpet. The building had the sober style of the medieval art. The podium sat at the front of the hall. In front of it, there was a table. The people approached the coffin.

“Condolences, Jane,” said Roxanne, embracing her.

“Thank you,” said Jane, having tears in her eyes.

John and Victor seemed to be engaged in a conversation without end.

“Lately, the funerals have changed because of the secularization of society,” said John.

“In many cases, people find the personalization to be valuable. The personalization changes the way in which the people view the funerals,” said Victor.

“Klaus, be kind and take the lid off and let me see his face,” wailed Jane between her sobs.

Klaus looked almost beseeching into her face with red and swollen eyes. Her beautiful nose was distended and there were tears on either side of it. Her mouth and eyes drawn down solemnly, awaiting the opening of the coffin. Silently, she began to weep. Feeble steps were heard on the front of the stairs and a tall old man, having a very gray hair and a long gray beard, slowly entered the church. He went up to the coffin and stood, keeping a cross between his hands and being seemingly so embarrassed by Jane’s grief. His name was John and he was priest. At this point, she began weeping again and the priest prayed silently for wisdom to help her.

“Sorry to hear about your loss, Jane. Death is the most horrible thing to live through, but we can learn so many things from someone’s death and we learn to pass through this,” said the priest.

“This life of ours is so short and we have an eternity to spend together. Love is the strongest link in that invisible chain that connects us,” said Jane.

Jeff’s head, artificially reconstructed, seemed to be even more indifferent in its rigid stillness than in life. No one could see that chaste repose on his face, which we expect to find on the face of any dead person. Death could not wholly relax the tension and smooth the countenance for expressing a perfect peace.

“He was a very good person, but we did nothing to understand him and to help him,” said Klaus.

“Poor girl, I think that she suffers very much,” remarked David, referring to Jane.

Lisa touched her. Soon, the people started to come to the church from all sides of the town. It looked like it was going to be a long funeral, with more than a dozen of speakers. A little before the start of the funeral, Michael came up to the group. From the moment that Alexander saw him approaching, he felt his reaction inside, which increased as Michael came near him.

“How are you, Michael?” Alexander asked him.

“I am elected as the director of the theater. It is a real honor to serve on this prestigious art as a director,” said Michael.

“Congratulation,” said Alexander.

“I want to do the best to honor Jeff’s memory as a director. I outlined an overview of the further development of the theater in a bid to attract the audiences. I want to promote some playwrights as well as some classical and modern scripts,” said Michael.

“I really don’t know what happened to him. It is very strange that he didn’t seem to commit suicide,” said Alexander, seemingly not paying attention to what he said.

The family started to talk about Jeff’s life because they wanted the time to pass in waiting the religious service. When the services started, everyone quit talking. Then, a little while later in the service, after a short litany of Psalm twenty three, Jeff’s friends wanted to do something special at the service and they sang a liturgical song. They finished the service with one of Jeff’s favorite religious songs. Many people commented on how uplifting the service was. It didn’t dwell on the sadness, but on the joy of Jeff’s life and on the hope and promises of our Lord. After the funeral, Michael came to Lisa and found her sitting on the small bench in front of Jeff’ grave.

“How do you feel now, Lisa?” Michael asked her, while he was staying in front of Jeff’s grave.

“I loved him,” said Lisa.

“The loss of a loved one is, generally, never easy and nobody will ever expect it to be. For you, this funeral passed as a hazy memory. So, don’t feel guilty of not remembering the details of this last farewell from now on,” said Michael ironically.

“I loved you both at the same time,” continued Lisa. “Don’t blame me.”

“Some day, I will leave you,” said Michael. 

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1. Pet photos – advertise a Pet Photography business where you photograph pets with their owners. Most owners won’t struggle to take a photograph with their pet all by themselves. You can be the one who makes it easy on them. Not only can you charge for the service and your time, but you can offer the photograph in it’s digital form or as a print that you can mail to them later – either created by your own photo printer or by a photo processing service.

2. Fishing contests – be around at the end of a fishing contest to take photographs of the contestants that didn’t even think about bringing a camera. Most fishermen are more concerned about fishing than carrying cameras, and most fisherman also want a picture of their stringer full of fish or the big one that they’re going to have mounted.

3. Parades – be in position to get great shots of folks and floats in the parade and sell the prints back to the individuals or to their family members. The folks who take part in the parades are often way to busy to take pictures before or after, so someone who captures them in action might really be doing them a favor – and a profitable service.

4. Landmark and tourist photographer – if there’s a famous landmark in your area, offer your photography services to tourists who want their photo taken in front of it. Even if the tourists are carrying a camera and get someone else to take their photo, often the camera won’t be digital with a display so it means the tourists won’t know how the picture turns out until they’re long gone. With your digital camera, you should be able to show them it’s a good picture.

5. Graduations – preschool, high school, or college graduations offer dozens, if not hundreds of opportunities to capture a significant moment in someone’s life. If the family members of the graduate aren’t located in as good a location or don’t have as good a camera as yourself – you’ll have even greater opportunity at getting the shots they couldn’t.

6. Holiday Family Postcards – offer your services to families that want their picture taken and put on a postcard that they can send to their extended family and friends. By using your digital camera you can not only get photo-postcards through online photo-processors, but you can make the prints available in your online gallery and have the customers refer their extended friends and family there to purchase a larger print if they desire it.

7. Photo Novelty Items – take photographs of people that want the pictures of themselves of their loved ones imprinted on coffee mugs, mouse pads, keychains, tee-shirts, and other items. Usually you can find suppliers of such photo-transfer merchandise and equipment in business opportunity publications, such as “Mind Your Business 101: How to Select & Start Your Own Business”

8. Used Car Photos – work out an arrangement to take snapshots of cars for used car dealers who don’t have photographs of their current inventory. If any of the car dealers don’t have websites that need photographs you could, provide an additional service by learning how to make and maintain a website of their inventory.

9. Promotional slideshow production – taking digital photos of a convention, church, business, college campus, or other promotable location – you can create a digital slideshow on Video CD or DVD for your customers to promote their business, organization, or event.

10. Newborn photo service – parents of newborns are some of the busiest people in the world. Advertise your services on an on-call basis so that you can take informal snapshots for the growing family either before they leave the hospital, or after they get home. This way both parents and the child(ren) can be in more of the pictures all together, and the parents have one less thing to try and figure out.

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Body piercing has grown so much in popularity in recent years that it has become almost mainstream, with more and more people sporting navel rings and multiple ear rings. Facial piercings, surface piercings and lots of others to choose from can make things confusing. If you don’t know what to expect when you decide to get a piercing, it can be even more intimidating. Here are some of the top questions people have about body piercing. 1. I want to get a body piercing. How much will it cost? The cost of a body piercing varies depending on several factors, including where you’re located, how close to a major city you are, and what kind of piercing you’re having done. Generally the more difficult the piercing, the higher the cost. Keep in mind that you get what you pay for as well, so don’t depend entirely upon cost to choose your piercer. If a piercer is charging significantly under the market cost in your area, he may be cutting corners in areas he shouldn’t, such as sterilization and other safety procedures. On average, the cost of piercings fall somewhere in these ranges:

Ears (lobes, cartilage, etc.)…..anywhere from $25-$50

Navel……………………………..$45-$55

Tongue……………………………$45-$55

Labret…………………………….$50-$60

Eyebrow…………………………..$40-$50

Nipple……………………………..$45-$55

Nostril…………………………….$45-$55

Genital…………………………….$75-$100

2. Does it hurt? In simple terms, yes. Does it hurt much? Most people will tell you, “No, not really.” It’s usually more like a pinching or popping sensation than anything. The sensation of pain is relative–some people feel it more than others. The adrenalin rush of the piercing usually means the pain in minimal. After the initial pain when the needle goes through the piercing, you may feel some dull pain or an aching sensation for a few hours, which can be relieved with an over the counter pain reliever. One piercing that does hurt a bit more than others is the tongue piercing, which will swell and be sensitive for a few days. Ice chips and popsicles will help soothe the pain of this kind of new piercing. 3. How long does it take a body piercing to heal? The healing time for a body piercing varies depending upon what you’ve had pierced. Some parts of the body heal more quickly than others. For instance, if you pierce your earlobes, you can expect them to heal within two months and be ready for jewelry other than the original piercing jewelry. The belly button is in an area that heals slowly, however, because it’s right where the body twists and turns, which slows the healing process. It also doesn’t get as much air circulation because it is covered much of the time. It can take up to six months or even a year for a belly button piercing to heal completely. Some general healing times are:

Ear lobes……….6-8 weeks

Cartilage………..4-8 months

Eyebrow………..6-8 weeks

Nostril…………..3-4 months

Septum………….6-8 months

Labret…………..2-3 months

Tongue………….4-6 weeks

Nipple…………..4-6 months

Navel……………5 months-1 year

Genitals…………6 weeks-6 months

The better you care for a body piercing, the more quickly it will heal, so be sure to discuss the proper care of your piercing with the piercing professional who does your body piercing to ensure a quick, clean piercing and you will heal in the least amount of time possible. 4. How can I tell if a piercing is infected, or it’s just normal healing stuff? All body piercings will have some drainage during the first several days. This is because you have basically given your body a puncture wound, and your body will bleed for a while, and then have drainage of some fluids as it heals. These fluids are actually good for you, as they keep the area moist and clean and will wash away some of the dirt and germs that might otherwise stay in the area. Bleeding should stop within a few hours or the first day and be only small amounts. Often it will look watery. Drainage will be mostly a clear, watery discharge, although it can sometimes be somewhat white in color. The drainage will form “crusties” around the jewelry that can be washed off with warm, soapy water when you clean your piercing each day. A piercing is infected when the discharge is either green or yellow. Also, if the area becomes swollen or inflamed again after the initial swelling has subsided. Any time you see green or yellow pus or discharge; you should see a doctor and get appropriate medical treatment. It won’t necessarily mean you have to remove your piercing; you may simply have to take a course of antibiotics. If the area becomes red and inflamed with red streaks radiating out from the area, see a doctor right away. 5. What should I look for in a good body piercing studio? A good body piercing studio must first and foremost be clean, clean, and clean! The most common cause of infection is piercings is simple exposure to germs, so look for a piercing parlor that is very strict about its cleanliness and sterilization procedures. They should have a separate room where nothing else is done but piercings. They should always have an operational autoclave, which is a wet steam sterilization unit that is to be used to clean and sterilize all tools and equipment used during piercing. They should also pierce only with single-use, disposable needles that are pre-wrapped. Ask them if this is what they use, and insist that the needles not be opened until they are actually ready to do your piercing so that you can confirm they are sterile-wrapped. Look for experience and qualifications. Have all the piercers been through an apprenticeship program? If so, for how long did they train and where? Also make sure they are licensed to operate a piercing studio by their state’s department of health. In most states this is now mandatory. Also check the date to make sure it isn’t expired. Finally, look for a certificate of membership in a professional society such as the Association of Professional Piercers, an organization that supports safe and professional piercing practices and offers extensive ongoing training. 6. Why can’t I just pierce myself? You can pierce yourself, but it’s not really a good idea. It’s simply too hard to keep the area in your own home (or wherever you happen to be) clean and sterile enough. You also may have trouble lining up and placing a piercing squarely where you want it, and if you lose your nerve half-way through the piercing, you’re stuck with it half done. If you do it at home, you’ll probably do it on an impulse, which will mean you won’t have the right tools. Piercing needles are incredibly sharp in order to reduce the pain and make a good, clean cut. No matter how sharp that sewing needle is at home, it’s not as sharp as a piercing needle, so it will hurt more, bleed more, and may not heal as cleanly. 7. What should I clean my piercing with? Today most professional piercers agree that the best way to clean a fresh piercing is with a mild antibacterial soap. These should not contain perfumes or dyes, which can irritate a piercing and lead to discomfort or an allergic reaction. There are a few on the market that are specifically designed for body piercings, including Provon® and Satin®. After cleaning, you should follow up with a sea salt water soak. Sea salt is available at natural health stores, piercing and tattoo studios and a variety of other stores. The sea salt solution helps soothe the area and draw impurities out of the wound to promote faster healing. H2Ocean is an excellent pre-mixed sea salt solution that can be sprayed on for ease of use. It’s highly recommended by many professional piercers and is convenient especially if you’re traveling or on the go. 8. What kind of jewelry should a piercing be done with? A body piercing is, in the simplest terms, a puncture wound, so you want to use a high quality metal that won’t react with your body chemistry to create an allergic reaction or contaminate the open wound. Never use cheap or base metals to get a body piercing. The best metals to use are titanium or surgical steel, both or which are essentially inert and won’t react with your body. In some cases, you can use high quality gold, but even this sometimes creates a reaction because of the nickel content, so do be cautious. Once a piercing is completely healed, you have more leeway on what you can use, but if you are at all nickel sensitive, you will probably always have to stick with surgical steel and titanium for your body piercings, unless you are using alternatives such as glass, which is completely non-reactive and safe for nearly everyone. 9. What causes migration? Is it the same as rejection? Rejection is a more severe form of migration. Migration is when a body piercing begins to move through the flesh because the body is trying to force it out of the skin and get rid of it. In some cases, the body only partially succeeds, and the piercing “migrates” so that it ends up being crooked or misaligned. When the body completely forces a piercing out of the body, it is called a “rejection,” because the body has completely rejected the piece of jewelry, basically “spitting it out.” This is because any piercing jewelry is a foreign object that the body sees as an invader to be gotten rid of, especially if the piercing is poorly done so that the jewelry aggravates the skin tissues. 10. What if I want to become a professional piercer? Behave responsibly. Visit a few piercing parlors that you know are top quality and ask about internship programs and other options. Order some videos that take you through the introductory steps of piercing and educate you on the process of proper preparation and sterilization. Many of the larger piercing websites offer these video series’ at a reasonable cost. You should also take courses in first aid in blood borne pathogens and other illnesses that are commonly transmitted by needles. Many of these courses are offered through community colleges or local hospital extensions. The most important thing is to be fully trained and completely experienced in all manner of piercing before setting yourself up as a piercer on your own–both for your own legal protection and the safety and well-being of those who come to you for body piercing. The Association of Professional Piercers (www.safepiercing.org) is an excellent source of information on how to get started as a professional piercer. In Conclusion Body piercing and wearing body jewelry should be an informed choice, not a snap decision. If you have been thinking about getting a body piercing, talk to others who have done the same and get their feedback. Ask them if they are happy with the results and for their suggestions on good piercing studios. Ask yourself if you’re ready for the commitment to proper care and the expense of a body piercing. Remember that a body piercing is a form of body modification that will affect how others perceive you. Obviously, this is part of the appeal for most people. However, the reactions will be mixed, and you should keep in mind that while some people will love it, others will not. So think through the consequences of body piercing thoroughly before you proceed. Then, if you decide its right for you–follow the tips above for a safe, attractive body piercing you’ll be proud to wear! This article on the “Top 10 Questions about Body Piercing” reprinted with permission.

Copyright © 2004 Evaluseek Publishing.

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Just because you and your spouse pledged to love and nurture each other through all your days, doesn’t guarantee that your marriage will remain vital and strong. Here are 3 little mistakes that left unchecked could cost you your marriage.

Little Mistake #1

Not Hearing Your Spouses Plea For Attention

With many responsibilities pulling at us each day, it is easy to fall into a routine of life that may not include nurturing our relationship with our spouse.

As we fulfill our responsibilities at work, in our community and with our children, we may not always save some of our time and energy for our spouse. When this happens, our spouse will usually make a subtle plea to be notice and nurtured. If this subtle plea goes unnoticed, they may even make a more direct plea for attention.

If we assume that they know we love them and continue to spend our time and energies on these other efforts, we are sending a very clear message that these other responsibilities are more important to us than our relationship with our spouse.

It’s critical to let our spouse now on a daily basis that we value our life and relationship with them.

It can be as simple as making sure they always get a passionate kiss on their way in and out of the house with a heart felt “I love you”. However, it will also require making a conscious effort to include them in our busy life.

After all, our job, community efforts and children will only be a part of our life for a defined period of time, whereas our spouse will be with us for a life-time. Keep your priorities in order, and you will go far in avoiding “Little Mistake #1.”

Little Mistake #2

Sharing Intimate, Personal Information With Someone Other Than Our Spouse

In many cases, the first step down the path of infidelity starts with individuals sharing intimate personal information with someone other than our spouse on a regular basis.

Either party could mistake this for feelings of intimacy, and secrecy only encourages this intimacy to grow. Personal, intimate discussions should be reserved for our spouse, it is only there that we will receive the best counsel from someone who deeply loves us and has our best interests as the heart of their desires.

Little Mistake #3

Harboring Ill Feelings About Your Spouse

There is nothing wrong with having less than loving feelings about your spouse when you’ve had a major disagreement. However, there is something wrong with harboring those ill feelings to the point of harming your relationship.

If these feelings are fed, they will grow into being critical about every aspect of our spouses imperfections. Following those times of disagreement, help yourself to calm down by reminding yourself of your spouse’s many positive traits and you’ll be surprised at how easily those loving feelings return.

By avoiding these “3 Little Mistakes”, your marriage can remain strong and vital for a lifetime.

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Dating can be hard enough at times, but the situation can be made that much more challenging for those single gay men who represent the age 40 and up crowd. In a society where youth and beauty are highly valued, many middle-aged men report feeling segregated and unappreciated in dating pools, making it difficult to meet and sustain relationships with potential dating prospects. The problem can seem even more compounded in the gay community in which the emphasis on youth and brawn is amplified, causing many mature gay men to feel undesirable and like outsiders within gay circles. They feel unwanted and that their age hinders them and limits the pool of men available to them for dating, particularly when they report being rejected by men in their own cohort for younger guys. Ageism, or discrimination against someone because of his age, plagues many different layers of our culture–and it also can and does rear its ugly head in the gay dating world. This “over-the-hill” mentality is very damaging, robbing us of the opportunity to really experience life, take risks toward goals, and make the most of what we have (if we let it!). This case is illustrated in the comment of a former 29-year old client: “I turn 30 later this year and then I officially am old! I’ll never have a boyfriend now! I feel like my life is over and it’s all downhill from here on out!”

It is hoped that this article will prove all that wrong and provide you with some tips for maximizing your midlife dating success! While the reality is that ageism does exist and there are obstacles in the dating jungle (at any age), these hurdles do not have to dictate the outcome of your love-life. In actuality, your stage-of-life puts you in an advantageous position to conquer this adversity. With your life experience and history, you probably have a greater repertoire of coping skills, resiliency, sense of self, assertiveness, self-esteem, and an expansive support system and resources. This will take you far and makes you a very good catch!

So let’s push aside those fears that you won’t be able to attract someone after you reach a certain age. Let’s destroy that stereotype that all older gay men are unhappy, lonely, and camp out at the local strip bar every night “trolling.” It’s nonsense! YOU make your life what you want it to be and “you’re only as old as you feel”, as the “old” saying goes. Midlife is sexy! And here are seven tips to help boost your dating success as a 40+ single gay man to enhance your readiness for a relationship!

STEP 1: CREATE YOUR VISION

No matter what your age, this is the most critical first step. It’s very important that you take the time to develop a clear and vivid image of who you are and what you want out of your life, including your dating life. Are you seeking a long-term relationship and a life partner or just casual dating? What does the rest of your life look like? What would your ideal partner be like and how would your relationship function? Your answers to such questions will help give you the direction you need to accomplish your goals, giving you a measuring stick to keep you on track and assess your status. How much of a gap exists between your idealized vision and your current reality? Do the work that’s needed to bridge that gap and begin the process of identifying your needs, differentiating between those that are negotiable and non-negotiable so you can more adequately screen future dating partners for their suitability with your vision.

STEP 2: BEFRIEND THE MIDLIFE CRISIS

Erik Erickson is best known in the psychology field as having developed eight stages of psychosocial human development that we all pass through as we age through the lifespan. Every age group has its own unique challenges and developmental tasks to conquer before being able to successfully move on to the next stage. According to this theory, such hallmarks that exist for the middle-aged man include nurturing close relationships, career management, household maintenance, creativity, and commitment to family and the community. Having a sense of purpose and passion and being able to impact the world with one’s talents is a central feature. For more information on this theory, visit http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erikson’s_stages_of_psychosocial_development . As gay men, many of our developmental tasks were skipped or neglected because of our retreat to “the closet” in coping with the homophobic society we live in. Successful integration of your gay identity into your sense of self allows you to then address those developmental tasks that were suspended until you were ready. So the next step for you is explore any developmental tasks that still require mastery from earlier years and start working at them. For example, a middle-aged man who comes out later in life will likely experience the adolescent tasks of exploring his sexuality and practicing man-to-man relationship skills, causing him to feel like a teenager again. Perfectly normal in gay male development, no matter what your age!

And then the next step for your success is to discover something that you can do that will give you a sense of meaning and purpose and begin to express that. Find your calling and live it out. This will be your legacy of sorts and is a great way to solidify your identity. This will help anchor you during your dating trials and can be one of the top ways of meeting a compatible partner. Your passion and “zest for life” will be magnetic and you’ll likely be meeting others with similar interests and philosophies in the venues you pursue.

The illustrious “midlife crisis” strikes those men who experience anxiety and apprehension at realizing they’ve lived half their lives and begin to question and contemplate what they’ve accomplished in their lives thus far, fearing that not much time is left to live their visions. Midlife is the perfect time to revisit your original vision and tweak it so it more accurately reflects who you are now and the man you’d still like to become. Reframe this time in your life as a time for growth and opportunity, not something to be abhorred. You have control over shaping your life into something spectacular and fulfilling!

STEP 3: DESTROY THE MONSTER IN YOUR HEAD

What we say to ourselves impacts our mood and behavior. The “monster in your head” is that little voice that whispers (and sometimes screams) negative statements about yourself and the world around you. Our internal dialogue impacts whether we look at life through a lens of optimism and hope versus pessimism and negativity. Examine your self-talk as it pertains to being middle-aged and your views on dating and gay men. Create a list of all the thoughts that come to mind about these topics unedited. If you have such thoughts as “I’m too old to find love“, “All the good ones are taken”, “I’m going to be all alone”, or “Nobody will find me attractive, I’m 50!” then your monster needs an ass-kicking. Don’t fall into the trap of creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. Begin creating a list of counter-statements or affirmations that will defeat this negative thinking. The more you believe these myths about midlife dating, the more you are setting yourself up for sabotage and it’s important to begin challenging these beliefs by taking stock of true-life success stories or by taking risks and creating your own triumphant victory. Refuse to be held victim to such deprecating thoughts and start developing a mindset around midlife as a positive time in your life to enjoy the fruits of your labor.

STEP 4: EMBRACE YOUR AGE

There’s no point becoming preoccupied with your youth “in the days gone by.” You’re as young as you feel and resisting the fact that life changes will only keep you arrested in your development and is a recipe for unhappiness and regret. Learn to accept all the physical and emotional changes that accompany midlife and be proud of who you are and your story. Do your best to reduce ageism and ensure that you yourself are not behaving in ways that perpetuate this type of discrimination. For example, if you utilize personal ads as a venue for seeking dating partners, make sure you are honest about all aspects of yourself and don’t fudge on your age. This will increase your odds of attracting more compatible people responding to your ad; remember, it’s quality and not the quantity of your responses.

STEP 5: ALIGN YOURSELF WITH THE RIGHT VENUES

Where do you meet other quality guys?! No matter what your age, this is one of the most common questions surrounding dating and it all boils down to your vision and values. While picking up other men in bars could be a viable approach, it’s a difficult setting to do so because there are so many guys to have to sift through and screen to determine their suitability with your vision for a life partner. The key is to match your values, needs, preferences, and life purpose with a venue that has some of these qualities and characteristics. This way, you’re surrounded by other men who share at least some semblance of your vision; that makes you one step closer to possibly finding someone who’d be a “good fit.” Examples might be volunteering for a worthy cause or advocacy center, joining a support group, participating in a sporting club, becoming active in a gay-friendly church, signing on to a personal ads site that caters to the middle-aged crowd, etc. The possibilities are endless, but self-knowledge about your vision and passions is a critical key to its success.

STEP 6: BUILD YOUR SUPPORT TEAM & MENTORSHIP CLUB

Nothing helps you through the trials and tribulations of dating better than a solid support system of friends and people who care about you. Invest in current and new relationships with friends and family to give you that boost and sense of connection that we all need. Make sure to look for other midlife gay men who display positive dating lifestyles or older gay couples who can be looked upon as role models to keep them visible in your mind and to help motivate you to see the possibilities that abound. You could even become a mentor yourself to a younger gay man to “give back” in some way and form other positive alliances.

STEP 7: BE PROACTIVE AND HAVE THE RIGHT STUFF

Dating is not a passive activity. You must be proactive and go after what you want or the likelihood of success is minimized. Develop a strong resource bank of dating skills and behaviors that will promote the chances of more positive outcomes. Strengthen your social skills, build more assertiveness and comfort with boundaries, enhance your self-esteem and body image, resolve unfinished business from the past, and get yourself into good physical and emotional shape. Get yourself armed and ready for love!

Conclusion

Gay dating success can be yours in midlife, and at any age! By incorporating these seven steps into your dating plan, you’re well on your way to increasing the odds of success. Know yourself, develop a positive and optimistic mindset, build your repertoire of dating skills and behaviors, and live your life to the fullest! This can be the best time of your life; don’t waste another minute!

For more information on gay midlife and dating, here are a few resources that might be of interest.

· For more elaboration on the concepts of vision, dating venues, and dating skills: “Conscious Dating: Finding The Love of Your Life In Today’s World” by David Steele. Campbell, CA: RCN Press. 2006.

· Literature on managing issues related to the gay midlife: “Golden Men: The Power of Gay Midlife” by Harold Kooden, PhD & Charles Flowers. New York, NY: Avon Books. 2000.

· http://www.graygay.com -and- [http://www.grayandgay.com]

Disclaimer: The Gay Love Coach does not represent or endorse the quality of any products, information, or materials displayed, purchased, or obtained by you as a result of its mention in this newsletter. It’s common sense to do your own due diligence before purchasing a product.

©2007 Brian L. Rzepczynski

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEBSITE? This article can be reprinted freely online, as long as the entire article and this resource box are included:

Brian Rzepczynski, Certified Personal Life Coach, is The Gay Love Coach: “I work with gay men who are ready to create a road map that will lead them to find and build a lasting partnership with Mr. Right.” To sign up for the FREE Gay Love Coach Newsletter filled with dating and relationship tips and skills for gay singles and couples, as well as to check out current coaching groups, programs, and teleclasses, please visit http://www.TheGayLoveCoach.com

Please also include with the article the words © Copyright and prominently display a link to our main page at the end of the article. Any feedback would be appreciated and can be sent to brian@thegaylovecoach.com. Thank you!

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As Religious Scientists or followers of the Science of Mind principles, we often hear the teaching described as Love through Law.

We often focus on and understand more fully the “Law” part. We can easily describe Law as the impersonal, mechanical and mathematically-precise force in the Universe that is the “doer” in the Creative Process. It is Universal Subjectivity. It is the Creative Medium into which we plant our thought-kernels. When we do a Spiritual Mind Treatment, we are working with the Law. We talk about the Law of Cause and Effect, we talk about the Law of Correspondence, we talk about the Law of Attraction.

But, I think as a whole, we tend to give the Love part of Love and Law a backseat. It is harder to wrap our intellectual minds around something more ethereal. We can intellectually understand Law because its work is observable and measureable. Love? Harder to pin down.

Love has been defined by Ernest Holmes as “the self-givingness of the Spirit through the desire of Life to express Itself in terms of creation.” Huh?

How about this definition: Love is the unconditional givingingness of Spirit to Itself through the act of creation. This is a little easier to understand. We all know what unconditional is. We know what giving is. Spirit can only give to Itself because that is all there is. We, by the way, are part of “Itself”. And we all know what creation is.

So Love is Spirit giving Itself (which is All Good and Only Good) to Itself by creating more of Itself without any conditions or restrictions. OK. So how do we give Love equal time as we go about our Spiritual Practice and Spiritual Growth?

I think this is where a little quiet contemplation may be useful. Whereas a Spiritual Mind Treatment is done with a specific purpose in mind and with using the Law (which has been freely given to us by Spirit), perhaps a simple practice of thinking about God’s Quality of Love without any specific purpose may help us connect more fully with Spirit.

What I am suggesting you do is get in touch with Universal Love. Sometimes I sit in a quiet place, maybe a little music playing in the background, and I try to just feel the Presence of God. Like a big warm embracing hug enveloping me. A calm and peace and feeling of well-being surrounding me and existing within me. Feeling like I am the Beloved in whom God is well-pleased. Start with yourself. And then, when you are ready, expand that embracing hug to every person on the planet, to every living thing in the Universe. Spiritual Love is giving goodwill to all. See Spirit in yourself and everyone. That is practicing the Presence.

We are Scientists, yes. But I think everyone would benefit if we all incorporate into our Spiritual Practice a little more Love with our Law.

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In the first half of the 1900′s, Americans saw dramatic advances in science and technology coupled with the Great Depression and two World Wars. The tumultuous times gave birth to a diverse variety of painting styles. While some American artists like Andrew Wyeth and Edward Hopper responded to the realities of contemporary life in representational paintings, others like Joseph Stella and Russian artist Wassily Kandinsky created their own realities. Kandinsky said the authentic artist creates new art out of “internal necessity.”

A century later, the world continues to face great challenges and Americans are adjusting to change. We are asking questions, reevaluating earlier practices, rebalancing priorities on many issues.

American artists are adjusting too. A plein air movement is afoot in the land. “Plein air” is from the French en plein air, “in the open air.” Thousands of charged up painters are spreading out in droves across America, adoringly painting contemporary life, an amazing phenomenon in this age of digital quickies. Daily life described via senses and souls of a slew of artists driven by internal necessity. Imagine the enormous amount and variety of paintings depicting contemporary America in this unprecedented effort. Not only are painters seeking sunshine, young artists are exploring traditional forms of representational figure painting. Like a child who leaves home to set the world afire and soon comes to value the wisdom of her parents, young painters are beginning to appreciate the artistic genius of earlier masters. Representational paintings can still express valid ideas.

What body of art will this herd of American painters create? What paintings will articulate our time? Will the art we leave behind emulate the ideas and virtues we collectively admire and respect? Or, will innumerable bytes produced by mass media tell our story for us? In the past, before replicated images blanketed the world, societies left behind the distinctive art of their culture as proof the heights humans can obtain. High or low, inspiring or ignoble, their art speaks volumes about them. As artists, will we strive for excellence, exalt high ideals, will we inspire love or ignite hate, or muddle in ambivalent mediocrity? Every time we stand before a blank canvas we are given the rare privilege to paint the essence of everything we are as humans into our work. The masters of the past have set the standards for us; imagine the lofty heights we can aspire too!

Contemporary artists have a unique opportunity to carry on the creative torch lit by our twentieth century painting predecessors. Let’s swing impassioned brushes celebrating the diverse beauty of America and her people. American painters can be art ambassadors, spreading ideas of hope, tolerance and respect for all things worthy of praise. Show the world what we truly value. Through the eyes of our own souls, we painters can communicate the essence of America’s soul.

We are given a gift, the time to show that art arisen out of internal necessity expresses eternal truths.

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Having driven the Hyksos eastwards out of Egypt, Kng Ahmose first sacked and then rebuilt their capital city, Avaris. His new Delta citadel included a fortified palace whose frescoed walls were decorated with vibrant bull-leaping scenes set against a maze-like background representing the bull-leaping ground. These scenes are so familiar to those found on the walls of the contemporary Minoan palace of Knosses, we must conclude that Ahmose employed Minoan artists. Bulls had religious significance in Egypt, where they associated with the solar cults, but bull-leaping and bull-grasping were purely Minoan rituals. So why had Ahmose – in all other respects a highly traditional Egyptian – chosen to decorate his northern palace in this outlandish foreign style? We have no idea, but some experts have suggested that he may have designed his palace to please a Minoan wife. This idea ties in well with an unexplained title held by the King’s Mother Ahhotep, ‘Mistress of the Shores of Hau-nebut’. Hau-nebut is an unknown land that may well be Crete. But there is as yet no more concrete evidence to support this theory, and some scholars believe Hau-nebut to have been a more generalized geographical term meaning the countries bordering the Mediterranean Sea.

Ahmose married both his sisters (Ahmose-Nefertari and Ahmose-Nebta) and Ahmose-Nefertari became his consort. Even more influential than her redoubtable mother Ahhotep, Ahmose-Nefertari bore a string of titles including the now-standard ‘King’s Daughter, King’s Sister, and King’s Great Wife’, and the more unusual ‘God’s Wife of Amun’. The Donation Stela, recovered from the Karnak temple, tells us how Ahmose purchased the ‘Second Priesthood of Amun’ to endow his wife with a fund of lands, goods and male administrators, an endowment that was to be held by the queen and her descendants forever. A third, and entirely separate, religious position, the office of Divine Adoratrice, brought Ahmose-Nefertari even more independent wealth. This personal income allowed Ahmose-Nefertari to make an unprecedented series of ritual offerings throughout Egypt, and her name has been recorded in temples at Abydos, at Thebes, and at Serabit el-Khadim in Sinai, the last being a focus of Hathoric cult that would become particularly associated with 18th Dynasty royal woman.

Ahmose-Nefertari did not confine her influence to the religious sphere. Texts recovered from the Memphite limestone quarries, and from the Asyut alabaster quarries, record her name alongside that of Ahmose. When the king decided to build the Abydos cenotaph for his grandmother Tetisheri, he discussed his plans with his ‘companion’ first; his use of the word companion perhaps suggests that Ahmose-Nefertari is to be equated with the Egyptian goddess Maat, the constant companion of Ra and of all Egypt’s kings.

Ahmose-Nefertari gave birth to at least four sons and five daughters, five of whom died in infancy or childhood. Following the death of Ahmose she acted as regent for her young son, Amenhotep I. Later, following the death of his childless sister-wife Meritamun, she resumed the role of consort to support her son, playing an active role in the selection of Amenhotep’s adopted successor, Thuthmose I. Dying during Thutmose’s reign, she was buried in the Dra Abu el-Naga cemetery on the Theban west bank. Her mortuary temple stood close by, but is not almost completely destroyed.

Ahmose-Nefertari’s mummy, stored in an enormous coffin that also housed the body of the 20th Dynasty king Ramesses III, was recovered from the Deir el-Bahari mummy cache. Unwrapped by Emile Brugschin September 1885, her badly decomposed body smelt so unpleasant that it was hastily reburied in the museum grounds until the offensive aroma went away. Re-examination of her now odour-free, remains has shown that Ahmose-Nefertari died in her 70′s, an impressive age even by today’s standards. Her thinning hair had been augmented by a series of false plaits that would magically become real hair in the Afterlife, and she shared the family trait of buck teeth already seen in the mummy attributed to her grandmother, Tetisheri. Ahmose-Nefertari’s right hand wasmissing, presumably stolen by ancient thieves in search of jewelry.

Mother and son had become so closely linked that, after their deaths, both were deified as patrons of the state-owned west bank village of Deir el-Medina, the village built to house the workers involved in excavating and decorating the royal tombs in the Valley of the Kings (and later the Valley of the Queens). Here Ahmose-Nefertari, now honored as a goddess of resurrection, ‘Mistress of the Sky’ and ‘Lady of the West’, would be worshiped until the end of the New Kingdom. Often, in this context, she was shown with the black skin that denoted fertility and rebirth rather than decay.

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